Relapse After Long-Term
Sobriety
by Janet Piper Voss, retired executive director, Illinois
Lawyers’ Assistance Program
Joe was a successful trial
lawyer with an active practice in a small, well-respected firm. Colleagues, clients, and friends like him and
saw him as accomplished in every aspect of his life. Well known in his community, he served on the
local school board, was active in his church, and directly worked on behalf of
several charitable community organizations.
His wife was a community leader; he had a daughter in law school and a
son studying at an Ivy League college.
He appeared to have the perfect life.
Only his wife and a couple of
close friends remember the difficult days when Joe struggled with his
alcoholism, but that was 24 years ago.
Once he sought treatment and went to Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), his life
turned around and he seemed unstoppable in his success – until the day so many
years later when he was arrested for drunk driving, disorderly conduct and
resisting arrest. What happened to this
life of recovery? What happened to the
sobriety that gave Joe a good life?
Unfortunately, lawyer
assistance programs confront this scenario more often than you might
think. Every year or two, there is
another story of a lawyer or judge who relapses to alcohol or drug addiction
after long-term sobriety. With help,
some get themselves back onto the road of recovery in spite of losses to
reputation and to relationships.
Unfortunately, some do not.
Relapse is the return to
alcohol or drug use after an individual acknowledges the presence of addictive
disease, recognizes the need for total abstinence, and makes a decision to
maintain sobriety with the assistance of a recovery program. According to a survey of members of AA, 75
percent experience a relapse during their first year of recovery. For those who are sober five years, the rate
drops to 7 percent. People who
successfully complete a formal treatment program such as a 28-day inpatient
program or an intensive outpatient program have significantly higher recovery
rates than those who do not.
Relapse is not uncommon in
early recovery because individuals are learning what changes they must make to
live a sober life. The relapse can be a
learning experience in how to develop better coping skills and get through
difficult experiences without the use of alcohol or drugs. When relapse comes after many years of
continuous sobriety, it is a clear indication that something is missing in the
recovery, even if it appears intact to those who associate with the individual.
At any stage of life, heavy
alcohol or drug use alters the brain.
When people stop drinking or using drugs, the brain does not return to
normal. But with treatment and AA, these
people learn to manage the resulting symptoms.
They remove shame and guilt by working the 12 steps of AA. They manage stress with prayer and meditation
and by living life one day at a time.
They reduce conflict by mending relationships. They make their lives better with rigorous
honesty. When they need help, they turn
to other people for support and encouragement.
Over time, this lifestyle
becomes a way of life, and concern about relapse fades. If these individuals are successful in the
eyes of the world, it is easy for them to become complacent. They may become less rigorous about applying
all the coping skills they developed when they first learned how to live a
sober life. Then, when stress levels
increase or conflicts arise as they do even in normal lives, the altered brain
remembers what takes away those feelings immediately and effectively. So these individuals pick up the drink or the
drug – and everyone wonders how this could have happened.
Complacency can set in when
life is going well. Individuals in
recovery sometimes believe that they no longer need to focus on their recovery
efforts; they are convinced they will never drink or use drugs again. When drinking is the furthest thing from
someone’s mind, then not drinking is no longer a conscious thought,
either. It can be dangerous to lose sight
of the principles of recovery (honesty, openness, willingness) because
everything is going well. More relapses
occur when life is going well than when it is not.
Addiction is cunning,
baffling, and powerful – words direct from the “big book” of AA. This is never more evident than when someone
whose life is so good returns to a destructive lifestyle. Could it be that those who experience success
on so many levels of their lives forget that their sobriety is the reason for the success that has come
in recovery?
There are also those who
relapse during times of extreme difficulty – the loss of a loved one, the onset
of serious or debilitating illness, or the loss of a career that has been
important both for financial reasons and for a sense of well-being. During difficult times, it is more important
than ever for these individuals to focus on a recovery program of openness and
honesty with themselves and with those who can help and support them. It is the time to return to the skills that
have kept them sober for so many years.
In some cases, physicians
prescribe pain medications following surgery or other health issues without
knowing the individual is in recovery.
Although the use of addictive or mood-altering prescription drugs is
sometimes necessary, it is important that the recovering person and the
physician communicate openly and work together to prevent drug abuse. We have seen many instances where the abuse
of prescription drugs leads a recovering lawyer back to alcohol or to another
drug of choice.
In this pharmaceutical era
that reminds us constantly that there is a medication to help with any problem,
taking a pill can seem quite normal.
Medications that keep us from feeling physical or emotional pain, that help
us relax, or that enable us to sleep are the ones that can lead to abuse and
addictive use. They are the drugs that
can threaten sobriety.
Major life events do come
along in everyone’s life and will challenge a lawyer’s recovery even when there
is a carefully thought-out relapse management plan. Such events as illness, death, divorce or the
end of a relationship, and loss of job are not unique to recovering people, but
it is even more important that recovering lawyers learn to handle these
situations so their sobriety is not threatened.
Relapse is a process, not an
event. Many who relapse are not
consciously aware of the warning signs of relapse even as they are
occurring. It happens because something
is missing in the recovery program.
Those who are successful in recovery learn to recognize their own
particular warning signs and high-risk situations. They learn to take a daily inventory of
active warning signs and then proactively seek the right way to handle them. They learn to recognize the spiral that leads
to relapse and set up intervention plans ahead of time that they can activate
before they reach the point of taking a drink or a drug.
Warning signs of relapse
change with more recovery. Some of the
typical warning signs in early recovery may be denial of addiction, craving
(physical and emotional), and euphoric recall (remembering only the positive
experiences of previous alcohol and/or drug use). There is also the tendency to “awfulize”
sobriety by focusing on the negative aspects of life without alcohol or drugs
and failing to see the improvements that have come with abstinence. In later recovery, warning signs are more
likely to be dissatisfaction with life, inability to find balance in lifestyle,
complacency, and a gradual buildup of stress and emotional pain. Because the struggle to find lifestyle
balance and the presence of stress are two of the major complaints we hear from
lawyers in general, it is no surprise to learn that recovering lawyers face
these challenges in their recovery and can be vulnerable to relapse if they do
not constantly monitor and manage these aspects of their lives.
A lawyer who recently
celebrated the 35th anniversary of his sobriety told me his Saturday
morning AA meeting is still an important part of his life. He explained that this is where he made the
friends who helped him through a difficult time in his recovery, when he was
going through a divorce and feeling vulnerable of his negative emotions. It continues to be the place he turns when
the going gets rough – or when he simply needs to talk to someone who will
really understand. When his is in a good
place, he goes there to help his friends through the difficult times. This is testimony to the fact that a recovery
network is important at any stage of recovery.
Without recovering people in our lives with whom we share our struggles
and our successes, it can become too easy to forget the addiction that once was
active and the recovery that makes it possible to live a happy and successful
life.
Another lawyer, sober for
more than 30 years, told me he makes a commitment to his sobriety every
morning. He promises himself that he
will put his recovery first, and preserving his sobriety is constantly in the
forefront of his mind.
The danger of relapse is
always present, even if there are decades of sobriety. Those who are successful in maintaining their
sobriety seem to be always mindful of the benefits that have come to them in
recovery. Acknowledging those gifts on a
daily basis and continuing to focus on a good recovery program, no matter how
many years have passed, is the surest way to avoid relapse and maintain the
good life of sobriety.
“Relapse After Long-Term Sobriety” by Janet Voss was originally
published in GP Solo. ©2009 by the American Bar Association. Reprinted with Permission. All rights reserved. This information or any
portion thereof may not be copied or disseminated in any form or by any means
or stored in an electronic database or retrieval system without the express
written consent of the American Bar Association.